THE 3 «S’s»
of SOS
SOS is based
on 3 key
principles –
sobriety,
self-help and
secularity. By
sobriety we mean
total abstinence
from alcohol and
all
mind-altering
drugs. It is
self-help, in
that we support
our recovery
through the
collective
wisdom and
support of
fellow
recoverers, and
not through the
leadership of
paid
professionals.
SOS is secular
in that we are
not based on
religious ideas.
We respect and
welcome
religious
people, but
religious issues
cannot be part
of SOS meetings
and are
considered to be
a private issue,
much in the way
that other
support groups,
such as for
cancer or trauma
patients, also
do not make
religious
beliefs a basis
for their
meetings or
methods.
SOS tends to
take a rational,
scientific view
of addiction,
(though members
are free to see
it otherwise)
and we seek out
scientific
research and
medical
explanations and
welcome
professional
efforts to help
recovery. SOS
members whether
secular or
spiritual find
such an approach
helpful, just as
one might when
faced with any
other illness.
SELF-EMPOWERMENT
Individual
self-empowerment
is the
“philosophical”
foundation of
SOS. We know
that the
individual can
achieve
successful
recovery from
addictions and
lifelong
abstinence
through
self-control and
independence.
SOS fosters
self-reliance
and the
development of a
personal,
internal locus
of power
developed
largely through
rational,
cognitive
methods. The SOS
group and
members share
experiences,
successes,
failures and
ideas, which
supply the
recovery tools
and a strong
supportive
atmosphere to
allow the
individual to
find their most
suitable path to
sobriety.
The SOS “SPIRIT”
& TRADITIONS
The “spirit” of
SOS might be
summarized as
one of empathy,
solidarity,
tolerance,
openness,
honesty and
trust. Just as
our focus is on
creating an
internal locus
of control for
the individual,
so our
organization
must be based on
voluntary
self-discipline
and cooperation.
SOS, therefore,
lacks stringent
controls,
inspectors,
sponsors or
hidden
hierarchies.
Just as the
recovering
person needs to
be open and
honest with her
or himself, so
must the
organization be
free of cliques,
secret plans,
schemes or
hidden agendas.
For the
individual,
dishonesty and
concealment make
for unhealthy
recovery and can
similarly create
an unhealthy
organization.
There is ample
room and
suppleness in
SOS for members
to form and
experiment with
different
structures,
formats and
ideas without
the need for the
artificial
fabrication of
cliques or
empire
building.
"COMFORTABLE
SOBRIETY" -
COMFORTABLE
GROUPS
Our aim is to
achieve a
“comfortable
sobriety” and
flowing from
this a
“comfortable”
organization for
safe secular
recovery. By
“comfortable
sobriety” we do
not mean
complacency or
lack of
vigilance toward
relapse, but a
level of
recovery where
the desire to
drink or use, or
the need to
constantly
combat urges and
cravings
disappears. Life
without drink or
drugs, then
becomes a more
"comfortable
sobriety", more
akin to the
lifestyle of a
non-alcoholic
person who is
abstinent out of
personal choice.
Likewise, the
character of SOS
meetings also
needs to be
"comfortable" in
the sense of
being vigilant
about the threat
of relapse, but
at the same
time, avoiding
the sort of
"tut-tut",
finger-wagging,
judgmental tone
found in some
recovery groups,
which suffocates
free expression
and healthy
discussion and
makes the
meeting
experience often
tense edgy and
unpleasant. We
don't patronize
members. We
treat each other
as adults in
charge of our
own fate. We
give feedback,
cross talk,
share
experiences and
then members
take or discard
what they feel
is valuable for
them.
The internal
atmosphere is
one of serious,
positive,
friendly
discussion,
cross talk and
debate. We enjoy
healthy
differences of
opinion and the
right to follow
different paths,
within the
boundaries of
abstinence. We
consider it up
to the
individual to
choose for
themselves what
they agree or
disagree with,
and what suits
them best in
maintaining
sobriety. This
is another
reason, why we
do not have
sponsors, such
as the 12 Step
programs, or
employ
professional
services in
meetings (though
members are
quite free to
take private
medical and
therapeutic
counseling and
are advised to
do so for
detoxification
and mental
health
problems). At
the same time,
however, we do
maintain a very
friendly and
close
relationship
with the
professional
recovery sector,
whose work and
comments are
always welcome.
For finances,
all local SOS
groups are
entirely
self-financing
through the
voluntary
contributions of
members. SOS
does have a
close historical
connection to
the Humanist
organization,
which helped to
get SOS started
and publicized.
Jim Christopher
(the SOS
Founder) works
for the
Humanists and it
continues to
help fund our
International
Clearing House
in Los Angeles.
However, in
practice the
Humanists have
no “political”
control over the
ideas, practices
and methods of
SOS groups and
have never
attempted to
interfere with
SOS, which
functions as a
loose
association of
autonomous
groups around
the world.
INDIVIDUAL
PARTICIPATION
At the beginning
of sobriety
people need as
many meetings
and supportive
contacts as
possible. SOS
members mostly
meet weekly and
share telephone
and email
information and
also get
together
informally.
Where there are
not enough local
SOS meetings,
newly sober
members often
also visit AA or
other 12 Step
meetings.
Another very
good secular
alternative for
women is “Women
for Sobriety”.
Indeed, being
very active in
self-help groups
in early
sobriety is
crucial to
avoiding
relapse.
Furthermore, as
an “activist”,
with
responsibilities,
structure and
schedules, one
also begins to
learn and
practice
important skills
for dealing with
social and work
situations
outside of the
supportive
group. The newly
sober person
begins to test
her or himself,
grows in
self-confidence
and knows again
what it is to
live with a
sense of purpose
beyond the next
drink or fix.
Consequently,
and as seems
appropriate, new
members in SOS
are encouraged
to volunteer for
responsibilities
and tasks they
feel capable of
carrying out and
can be helped
with.
However, a
unique feature
of SOS is that
after 2,3 or 5
years many
members feel
confident and
sufficiently
self-empowered
to reduce the
amount of SOS
activity and the
frequency of
their attendance
at meetings.
Many stop coming
to group all
together for
years, without
feeling their
sobriety to be
threatened. SOS
has no problem
with this and
has seen so many
members succeed
in
"internalizing"
their sobriety
that we do not
adopt the
attitude that
"you will be
coming to
meetings each
week for the
rest of your
lives", lest you
will relapse,
die or transmute
into some
putrid, green
gargoyle.
SOS welcomes
people being as
active as they
feel appropriate
to themselves at
different times.
There are many
long-term SOS
members who play
a very full and
absolutely
invaluable role
in helping newer
members. But, at
a the same time,
we do not pass
judgment on
anyone who plays
less of a role
either.
|
|
We also try to
guard against
tendencies to
become obsessive
about activism,
organizing,
structures and
constitutions.
This is because
we realize that
as addicts, we
are always in
danger of
substituting one
addiction for
another and we
do not wish our
members to
develop an
unhealthy
"obsession"
about SOS.
Getting sober is
about getting
real.
“Get Real, Get a
Life!”
is part of the
process of
recovery and SOS
is simply a tool
to help us get
back to “hacking
it” in the real
world.
SOS AND THE WEB
The same
approach applies
to our Internet
sites and
on-line meetings
and activities.
The Web is a
wonderful
instrument for
learning about
addiction,
discovering
sobriety tools
and keeping in
contact with
fellow
recoverers. It
is especially
useful in times
of crisis and
where an
individual is
geographically
isolated.
Every SOS group
should think
about
establishing a
local, regional
or national web
site to attract
new members
looking for
local meetings
and contact
information.
Ideas,
approaches,
tools and
techniques can
then be swapped
and spread
through links
worldwide.
However, “web
addiction” is a
very real
phenomenon and
SOS believes
that the Web
should only be
seen as one
sobriety tool,
among many. We
should try not
allow it to
become our main
or only tool.
Sobriety by
electronic
letters or
telephonic
internet is no
substitute for
the value of
real
face-to-face
human contact in
recovery.
Written
communication is
never as
comprehensive as
the physical.
Scientists have
proven that 93%
of our
communication is
non-verbal,
i.e., through
body language
and voice tone,
expression, etc.
"Skin" meetings
are the only
place where we
can really
communicate and
fully express
our true
feelings, and
where true
feedback can be
gained by other
members picking
up on the
messages
expressed beyond
the content of
the actual words
spoken. In this
way our web
sites and
on-line meetings
are a great
adjunct to SOS
and recovery,
but should serve
only to
compliment or
help establish
actual physical
meetings.
INDIVIDUAL
SOBRIETY BEFORE
ORGANIZATIONAL
FETISHISM
All SOS
organization
issues flow from
the 3 “Ss” (
Sobriety,
Self-help and
Secularity) and
the
self-empowerment
approach and
free thought
spirit explained
above.
For SOS
organizational
questions are
neither an
obsession nor a
fetish.
Organization and
structures are
not an abstract
issue to be
debated like
students of the
US constitution
in university
seminar rooms.
We are a
rational
organization,
which takes a
pragmatic
attitude toward
recovery. We do
whatever works
to achieve
sobriety and we
organize in
whatever ways
suit us to stay
that way.
Consequently,
the forms and
structures,
which SOS takes
are created and
developed purely
in order to
better
facilitate the
successful
recovery of
individuals in a
safe, self-help
and
non-religious
environment.
For these
reasons, SOS
does not model
itself upon, or
compare itself
to, any other
forms of
organization, be
they religious,
political or
social. While we
are always open
to learning from
the
organizational
features of
other groups, we,
nevertheless,
strongly affirm
the unique
organizational
character of SOS
as a self-help,
sobriety
organization,
with its own
distinctive
forms of
organization and
structures. In
fact, the SOS
organization is
nothing more
than a sobriety
tool. To be
effective for
the varied
requirements of
its members, SOS
is flexible,
versatile and
adaptable.
Indeed, this
approach to
organization
flows directly
from our
flexibility
toward the
individual’s
need to find his
or her own
recovery paths,
tools and
methods for
achieving
abstinence.
Furthermore, and
very importantly,
we are open to
all people
regardless of
gender, age,
race, color,
creed, beliefs
or sexual
orientation and
oppose any
manifestation of
prejudices on
these issues in
our ranks
In SOS we
recognize the
uniqueness of
every individual
and the need of
each person to
have both a
clear foundation
for sustaining
sobriety (3 S’s)
and, at the same
time, be able to
enjoy an
atmosphere and
environment
where they feel
both safe and
free to
experiment and
choose between
different
sobriety tools,
in order to find
an approach,
which suits them
best. In his Jim
C’s book
“Unhooked” SOS
member Janis.G.
wrote the
following
"Some people
find the lack of
spirituality (in
SOS) also means
a lack of
structure, of
any clearly
laid-out
program, which
seems to them to
be antithetical
to recovery. Yet
for me and many
others it is
just this
amorphous nature
of SOS that
offers great
challenge and
flexibility and
personal
freedom"
Consequently,
SOS is a
free-thought
forum, in which
different
methods,
approaches,
ideas and
concepts are
welcomed and
debated, so long
as they are not
part of a
dogmatic attempt
by an individual
to convert or
brainwash
members in favor
of any
particular
doctrine,
religious
belief,
political view
or any other
particular set
of opinions. SOS
meetings are
secular in that
they consider
religious,
political and
other matters to
be private
matters and not
part of the
group business
or discussions.
In accordance
with this, the
forms of
organization,
which the
structures of
SOS will take at
a local,
regional,
national or
international
level can be
different
according to the
collective needs
of the groups of
people involved.
The SOS style of
organization is
extremely
flexible,
adaptable and
versatile, while
at the same time
being firmly
rooted and
uncompromising
on the need for
sobriety,
self-help and
secularity.
THE SOS
"MISSION"
SOS
has no "mission"
as such and does
not see itself
as a
"missionary"
organization.
SOS
simply aims to
provide a safe,
secular
framework and
foundation for
recovery. At its
inception Jim
Christopher made
it quite clear
that SOS is
not “THE
WAY”, but “a
way”. There are
other ways to
get and stay
sober. Within
SOS a variety of
secular
alternatives are
available,
alongside the
tried and tested
SOS approaches,
such as the
“Sobriety
Priority” and
“Closing the
Gap”.
SOS is not
in competition
with or opposed
to other
recovery
organizations.
We welcome
diversity and
choice. Where
appropriate we
organize joint
activities or
invite speakers
from other
recovery groups,
if members wish
and we feel it
contributes to
enriches their
recovery
options. At the
same time, we
have no interest
in spending time
criticizing,
politicking or
conducting
sterile polemics
with other
groups.
Furthermore, we
are only
interested in
groups which,
like ourselves
are firmly based
on total
abstinence and
do not recommend
those which are
not.
It is
important to be
clear that SOS
is not any form
of social
movement or
“political”
cause. We are
not on any
“crusade” and we
do not aim to
create any sort
of "mass secular
social
movement".
Entertaining any
such sect-like
delusions is
harmful and
deflects the
organization
away from its
primary focus
which is helping
individuals to
get and stay
sober.
We do wish to
build and expand
SOS, because new
members and
groups bring
with them more
ideas and
approaches which
can help other
groups in
different towns,
states and
countries stay
sober. But, at
the same time,
we like to keep
our feet firmly
on the ground
and maintain a
sense of
perspective
about who and
what we are. The
average member
is rightly just
concerned about
staying sober
and having a
weekly meeting
to attend. Of
course, should a
SOS group spring
up in
Ulaanbaatar or
SOS suddenly
spread across
all the
countries of
Latin American,
we would be very
excited and
happy. But the
key for SOS
still remains
the healthy
recovery of the
individual
member and not
activities aimed
at the creation
of phantom
armies.
 Why
not use
the article
to start a
discussion in
your group? |
|
SELF-LEADERSHIP
& STRONG
SELF-EMPOWERED
LOCAL GROUPS
SOS is an
amorphous and
loose
organization and
proudly so! It
is a voluntary
association of
self-supporting,
secular and
autonomous
self-help
groups. It can
be described as
a highly
decentralized
democracy, held
together by the
voluntary wishes
of its members.
SOS groups are
free to use
different names
and variations
on names, pursue
alternative
agendas and
adopt a wide
variety of
methods and
approaches to
sobriety as
their members
see fit. Such
autonomy for
local groups
flows naturally
from our
emphasis on the
freedom of the
individual
member to seek
out her or his
own road to
abstinent
living. Just as
we advocate
self-empowerment
for the
individual, so
we do so for the
local groups.
Each group
should aim to
become a
self-empowered,
self- reliant
entity, with its
own unique
features and
locus of
control. Groups
should aim to
produce their
own material,
pamphlets,
fliers,
publicity,
education, links
to recovery
facilities and
other social
organizations.
The
International
Clearing House
provides
guidelines for
this and
circulates the
ideas, material
and practices of
groups around to
other meetings,
so we may share
what we want.
Being linked to
the wider SOS
organization in
these activities
obviously
supplies us with
recovery
methods, as well
as, helping us
exploit the
respect and
reputation SOS
has in the
recovery
movement
internationally.
Groups then
often come
together for
common meetings
on a city wide,
regional,
national and
international
basis to share
and learn from
one another.
This helps to
nurture a more
creative and
fertile
environment for
the discovery of
new methods,
tools and
approaches to
recovery. SOS
operates bottom
up, with local
groups
developing,
publishing and
disseminating
their approaches
and ideas to be
disseminated
horizontally
across the
organization.
This highly
decentralized,
autonomous,
self-empowered
group form of
organization
makes SOS unique
from all other
recovery
organizations,
both religious
and secular.
Again it stems
from our
approach to the
individual,
which emphasizes
our confidence
in the capacity
of the person to
achieve his or
her own
recovery. We,
likewise, have
the same
confidence in
the ability of
local groups to
take care of and
develop
themselves, and
to seek help and
guidance from
other groups and
the
International
Clearing House,
much in the same
way as an
individual does
when seeking
guidance from
the local
meeting. All SOS
groups should be
self-reliant,
self-organizing,
self-financing
and
self-directing.
Just like the
individual
member, local
SOS groups
should be
independent of
any “Higher
Power”, be it a
spiritual thing,
an
organizational
structure or a
leading
personality.
The foundations
of secular
sobriety are
suggested from
the
International
Clearing House,
but individuals
and groups are
quite free to
take or leave
what they wish,
so long as they
follow the
fundamental
principles of
secularity,
self-help and
sobriety. The
SOS
International
Clearing House
never attempts
to enforce rigid
rules and
practices upon
the local
organizations.
As Jim C puts it
in his book SOS
Sobriety - The
Proven
Alternative to
12 Steps "The
SOS
International
Clearing House
does not dictate
policy
to...free,
autonomous,
grass-roots SOS
self-help groups
" The Clearing
House acts
purely as a
facilitating
office, helping
to inform and
co-ordinate the
work of existing
groups, giving
advice where
necessary and
encouraging and
helping new
groups to form.
SOS explicitly
wishes to avoid
the creation of
a strong,
centralized,
professional and
bureaucratic
apparatus or
center.
SECULAR &
SECTLESS
SOS believes
these features
are vitally
important in
helping to
protect our
organization
from becoming
any sort of
sect. Many
people leave AA
and other groups
to join SOS,
because they are
repelled by the
sect-like
character of the
meetings and
organization. It
is precisely in
order to guard
against the
creation of a
sect, be it
religious or
secular that SOS
purposely lacks
rigid
structures,
emphasizes
self-empowerment
and insists on
an atmosphere of
free thought. We
recognize that
newly sober
people are
especially
vulnerable to
sects, gurus and
charismatic
leaders, and
that the person
in early
recovery has a
very fragile
sense of the new
sober self which
can be easily
replaced by the
“sect-self”, (a
characteristic
aim of all cults
and sects). SOS
provides a forum
for the
recovering
person to find
their own
“self”. We are,
therefore,
highly skeptical
of people who
set themselves
up as leaders,
show us “the
way”, or come
forth bearing
gifts of
organizational
panaceas for
sobriety.
QUOTES
In his book
“Recovery
Without
Religion” Jim
Christopher
gives this
warning to
recovering
people,
"Gullibility
is pathetic at
any stage of the
game and I've
been duped on
occasion like
most folks. One
is especially
susceptible in
early sobriety.
Gurus come out
of the woodwork
exploiting one's
vulnerability
and gullibility"
"As with the
sobriety
priority,
healthy
skepticism and
rational
thinking never
go on automatic
pilot........steer
clear of
quick-fix
artists...An
aware skeptic is
less apt to be
duped or
enslaved"
Unfortunately,
people who join
sects never
realize or admit
that they are
doing so and
refuse to see
the reality of
it . This can be
very dangerous.
As Jim C warns
"Avoidance
of reality not
only stunts an
alcoholic's
emotional
growth, it puts
him or her in
real danger of
drinking again"
SOS is a
“leaderless”
organization and
proudly so. In
SOS there are no
leaders, because
“we are all
leader”- leaders
in our own
sobriety and the
ways we organize
our lives and
support groups
to achieve that.
To finish, the
following are
some selected
quotes from Jim
Christopher’s
books, which may
help to clarify
some of the
points above:
"SOS members
tend to view SOS
meetings as an
awareness tool.
Most do not "
play out their
lives " in daily
meetings of any
kind "
"SOS members
prefer the
experience of an
"internal locus
of control"
"SOS is a
supportive and
informative
organization".
"SOS is not
coercive or
compulsive...
SOS is honest.
It says what it
means and means
what it says."
"SOS is an
organization,
which offers
balance and
choice in the
recovery
movement "
"Tolerance
can help us
avoid the trap
of dogmatism.
Tolerance can
help preserve
the dignity of
individual human
belief."
"Our approach
tends to foster,
nurture and
rebuild
self-esteem,
self-reliance,
self-determination
and a healthy
ego."
"The SOS
mission is
recovery via
free,
autonomous,
grass-roots,
self-help
support groups "
Read a
biography
of SOS Founder
Jim Christopher
|
