Many family and friends of alcoholics and addicts come to recovery groups 
desperately searching out for help and answers to their problems. SOS provides support and help on understanding and coping with the problems by providing information about 
chemical dependency and its consequences for relationships.

Family and friends of alcoholics and addicts often suffer as much or more physically and 
psychologically as the addicts themselves. They can get caught up in the behavioural crises 
of addicts in ways which then affect their own behaviour and physical and mental health. 
Moreover, their well-meaning actions may not work and they find that their actions are only further alienating the person and causing problems in their relationships. Living with an alcoholic and/or addict is incredibly stressful. The advice and support of other who have or continue to face this situation, as well as speaking to recovering alcoholics and addicts directly themselves, is critical to helping you help yourself and your loved one.

By coming to SOS, family and friends can learn about the illness and arm themselves 
against its negative effects. Understanding the illness rationally is the first step toward 
defending oneself from its destructive influence on you and your close ones, and also allowing YOU to free YOURSELF from its clutches, as well as helping you to aid your loved one in a more constructive way.

The first thing is to understand the Cycle of Addiction which your loved one is in 
and into which you have become entrapped. By understanding that addiction is a physiological illness, based on chemical dependency, which then dominates and warps the psychology of the addict, one is better able to see that the addiction is solely an individual journey for that person.  The addict must break their own denial and come to accept and acknowledge their addiction THEMSELVES, if they are to recover. It is not your fault or responsibility.  You are no more responsible for or able of curing cancer, if it befell a close one.  Like any other life threatening disease, the best you can do is find ways you wish to choose to be supportive and constructive toward the sufferer, which help them to recover and which, simultaneously do not damage your own physical or mental health or that of other family members. Full recover can be achieved and a good life rebuilt. However, in addiction relapse and death are an ever present threat, especially in the first few years. You cannot play a decisive influence in the outcome.  This relies with the addict taking responsibility for his/her own recovery. Support is important, but not at the expense of your own life and that of the rest of your family. Coming to SOS will help you how to learn to understand, cope and overcome addiction, to the benefit of the addict and, more especially, for the benefit of yourself.

Acknowledgement & Acceptance

  3. Daily Prioritisation of Own Well-Being

SUGGESTED GUIDELINES FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS

Don’t give up hope ! Many alcoholics and addicts have been helped to choose recovery by the informed intervention of those who loved them. Many tens of thousands have done it alone ! 

 Learn all you can about alcoholism and addiction and, also its affects on relationships, family and otherwise. 

 Discover that you are not alone with the problem. Attend as many SOS meetings as you can, and other recovery groups, where possible or necessary. Talk informally with recovering alcoholics and addicts and other family and friends. Get their phone n°s and email addresses. 

 Be gentle on yourself and the alcoholic/addict in your life. Remember you too are recovering 
from the psychological effects of living with the addiction. Be good to yourself !  Make sure to get rest, eat properly and have treats. Also bear in mind that sobriety skills are not developed overnight either for you or your loved one, so give yourself credit for being understanding. 

 SOS stresses that sobriety must be the priority for the chemically dependent person. 
The Sobriety Priority is the alcoholic/addict’s bottom line. You too must learn to make your own well-being (and not the addict’s) YOUR PRIORITY. You can call it what you like - your 
« Health Priority », 
« Sanity Priority », 
«Happiness Priority ». 
Start making this your bottom line for decision-making . 

 Believe that the choices you make by prioritising your own well-being are the best thing 
you can do for the chemically dependent person.

 General Principles of SOS Family & Friends 

 All those who wish to gain understanding of their feelings about their relationship with an addicted person are welcome. 

 Family and friends may be invited by SOS groups to attend meetings with recovering alcoholics and addicts, as well as having the right to form separate SOS Family and Friends meetings, if they wish. 

 Honest, clear and direct communication of feelings, thoughts and knowledge aids in recovery.  Support in choosing non-destructive, non-delusional and rational approaches to living sober, rewarding lives helps in developing healthier relationships. 

 In SOS, family and friends gain insight into the workings of other recovering persons, as members share experiences, information, strengths and encouragement in friendly, honest and supportive group meetings. 

 SOS guards the anonymity of all those who attend meetings and the contents of the discussions from those not within the group. 

 SOS is not the spin-off of any political or religious group. SOS is concerned with aiding family and friends in developing understanding and compassion for the recovering individual.