The
Sobriety Priority
A
publication of Save Our
Selves
Getting Help
One
comes to a program of recovery
from addiction when one is most
vulnerable, reaching out for
help. This does not mean,
however, that one must sacrifice
intellectual integrity or
compromise individuality in
order to achieve and maintain a
life of sobriety.
Studies
of religions and cults have
consistently proved that people
tend to convert at times of
great stress or failure in their
lives. These are times when
promises of enlightenment and
cures for pain are most
appealing. People don’t look for
proof or evidence or even
coherence in belief. They see
someone throwing them a
life-preserver, and they grab
it.
When
you’ve lost faith in yourself,
its only too easy to find it in
something else.
Cognitive Sobriety
What is
“cognitive sobriety?”
“Cognitive” means knowing,
learning, perceiving. We look at
the world and our lives in a
rational way and try to
understand the dynamics behind
issues and events. The current
“just say no” philosophy doesn’t
help people very much. How could
it? We are thinking beings. We
need to know how, we want to
know why. Simpleminded slogans
don’t fulfill these basic human
yearnings. Perhaps the pervasive
repetition of such a slogan will
convince a few that it is no
longer popular to “get ripped;”
then again, perhaps its
dogmatic, self-righteous tone
will have the opposite effect.
Traditional therapies, usually
based on AA’s twelve step model,
connect sobriety to God. New
Agers or proponents of what is
called “transpersonal therapy”
would connect it to some
mystical “unity” or “cosmic
holism.”
Even
those who are more rational
often say, “If you get good, you
can get sober,” meaning that if
you make other positive changes
in your life, sobriety will
follow. Others will hedge:
“Well, you have to learn coping
strategies. You have to alter
your life here, and take these
certain steps to do such and
such.”
All
these things may very well be
valuable and important, and I am
not advocating that people just
get sober and sit in a chair.
But I am saying that one should
not lose sight of the priority —
which is
sobriety,
not goodness, not cosmic unity,
not obedience to the will of a
so-called higher power. It’s
sobriety itself. Sobriety is a
priority, but it’s not an
obsession. It offers a kind of
backdrop against which one can
have a life, a meaningful life.
If people want to just “be,”
they can do that, too, and be
sober; I have met such people.
And I rejoice in their sobriety.
Some
“experts” on alcoholism feel
that alcoholics can “unlearn”
drinking behaviors and thus
modify their intake. This is a
ludicrous idea. I wonder, do
they plan eventually to apply
this approach to cocaine and
heroin use as well?
Even
though some addicted persons may
be able to control their
drinking for varying periods of
time, what have they gained in
the process? In his Natural
History of Alcoholism,
psychiatrist George E. Vaillant
writes, “Their situation [is]
analogous to driving a car
without a spare tire — disaster
[is] usually only a matter of
time.”
If an
alcoholic chooses a life of
sobriety, what has he or she
lost in the process?
A Personal Perspective
A
number of years ago I stood by
the hospital bed of a close
friend who had just died at the
age of forty-seven. He had been
“only a heavy drinker,”
diagnosed as “nonalcoholic.” Yet
he died of alcohol-related
deterioration. The doctors in
attendance said that he had
simply “fallen apart”
physically. I’ve known persons
of all ages who have tried time
after time to find a way to
handle their “problem drinking.”
I can’t think of a single case
where sobriety would have
brought them harm. I had a
seven-month interruption in my
seventeen years of consuming
alcohol. That period of sobriety
ended with a bizarre
“celebration:” I was “able to
drink again.” To “prove” it, I
downed a fifth of premixed vodka
martinis. When I related this to
my therapist at the time, she
agreed that “this, indeed, makes
good sense.”
Several
years later, when I got sober
again, I had a more difficult
time of it. To wit: screaming
and shaking and sweating and
thinking that I was dying. My
alcoholism had deepened
profoundly, and I had abandoned
my nonchalant attitude as well
as my agreeable therapist. By so
doing I abandoned the
alcoholic’s most persistent
nemesis: denial.
Those
seven months had merely been a
“time out.” Visions of future
drinks were dancing in my head.
I had had no program, no
strategies for (or commitment
to) my sobriety. Now I do.
In
1978, when I began my new period
of sobriety, I was scared half
to death. I have wanted to
retain the positive essence of
this experience as a way of
maintaining a healthy respect
for my arrested condition. I
wanted a life of sobriety this
time, not dreams of future
drinks. And I was willing to do
whatever was required to achieve
that.
Reflections and
Research
During
my first year of sobriety I
questioned a number of sober
alcoholics, searching for the
common thread for their
successes in maintaining a
lasting sobriety. When I was
about three years into my
sobriety, I began to challenge
some of the concepts of
Alcoholics Anonymous, but felt
that I stood alone in that
endeavor. By the time I was
sober for five years, I had
compiled an extensive file of
responses and, from four years
ago to the present day I’ve
collected data from more than
two thousand “sobrietists.” Both
from this research and from my
own experience of recovery, I
have put together a specific
secular approach to achieving
and maintaining long-term
sobriety. I call it the
“Sobriety Priority.” I wish to
offer it here as a way (beware
of anyone who offers the
way) to achieve and maintain
sobriety for life.
With
the Sobriety Priority, arresting
one’s chemical addiction and
staying sober becomes the top
priority. It is separate from
everything else in one’s life,
including religious or spiritual
beliefs. Rather than turning
one’s life and will over to an
outside force or higher power,
recovering alcoholics and
addicts credit themselves daily
for achieving and maintaining
sobriety, empowering themselves,
rebuilding self-esteem, and
building the best possible
protection against relapse. This
is not a “spiritual” or “twelve
step” program. And it’s not a
package deal. Achieving and
maintaining sobriety is
approached as a separate issue,
not as part of a larger
mystic/holistic plan that
requires fear of one’s human
imperfections. The Sobriety
Priority method works. Thousands
have used it successfully, not
only for drug and alcohol
addiction, but for other
addictions, such as overeating
and gambling.
The Cycle of Addiction
The
Sobriety Priority approach for
achieving and maintaining
freedom from alcohol and other
mind-altering drugs is a
cognitive strategy. It can be
applied, on a daily basis, as
long as one lives, to prevent
relapse.
The
Sobriety Priority approach
respects the power of “nature”
(genetic inheritance,
physiological constitution) and
of “nurture” (learned habit,
behaviors, and associations)by
showing how to achieve the
initial arrest of cellular
addiction and stave off the
chronic habits that result from
this addiction.
The
“cycle of addiction” contains
three debilitating elements:
chemical need (at the
physiological cellular level),
learned habit (chronic
drinking/using behavior and
associations), and denial of
both need and habit.
The
cycle of alcohol addiction
usually develops over a period
of years. Cycles have been found
to be much shorter with other
drugs, especially cocaine. In
all cases, however, the
addiction becomes “Priority
One,” a separate issue from
everything else. And as it
progresses, it begins to negate
everything else.
The Cycle of Sobriety
The
cycle of addiction can be
successfully replaced by another
cycle: the cycle of sobriety.
This cycle contains three
essential elements:
acknowledgment of one’s
addiction to alcohol or drugs
(you may have euphemistically
called it “a problem”);
acceptance of one’s addiction;
and prioritization of sobriety
as the primary issue in one’s
life.
The
daily cognitive application of a
new “Priority One,” the Sobriety
Priority, as a separate issue,
arrests the cycle of addiction.
It frees the sober
alcoholic/addict to experience
“everything else,” by teaching
him or her to associate
“everything else” with sobriety,
not with drinking or using
behaviors. The cycle of sobriety
remains in place only so long as
the sober alcoholic/addict
cognitively chooses to continue
to acknowledge the existence of
his or her arrested addiction(s).
The
Sobriety Priority, applied
daily, gradually weakens booze
and drug associations, halting
the cycle of addiction, allowing
time for new associations to
form as one experiences life
without addictive chemicals. As
one continues to “make peace”
with the facts regarding his or
her arrested addiction—that is,
as one continues to recognize
alcohol and drugs as a
non-option—one comes to prefer a
sober life-style; one longs to
preserve it, to respect the
arrested chemical addiction, and
to protect the new, sober life.
Portions of this brochure are
excerpted from Unhooked:
Staying Sober and Drug-Free
(Prometheus Books, 1989) by
James Christopher, founder of
SOS.
Publication of this material
is made possible by support from
SOS members and friends and by
the Council for Secular
Humanism, a nonprofit
educational organization.
Copies of this and other SOS
brochures may be obtained from
the SOS Clearinghouse. This
brochure was updated January,
2000.
SOS
Clearinghouse (Save Our Selves)
4773 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood,
CA 90027 USA.
Tel : (323) 666-4295 e-mail
SOS@CFIWest.org
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http://www.cfiwest.org/sos
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